Chances

There are moments in life where we have to make important decisions.Whether to stay and resume normality or to leave to learn and to grow individually through new experiences. And these choices vary due to circumstance. 

But how truly can we make such important decisions which can impact on our lives in so many ways? 

Obviously we could hedonistically calculate how the decision will benefit us and those around us. Then see what it will cost us individually.. But truly how do we have the ability to choose what is best for us? 

Some may say that fate allowed this to happen, that everything was leading up to this moment. 

Or that a higher being or a force bigger than us has directed us down, up, or along this path..

That it's a case of a new opportunity excitement and a way for us to step out of our comfort zone in the dark and we should bound towards the light..

Or that it's greed of wanting more than just the draining life of normality. 

Personally I believe that everything happens for some sort of reason and no matter what the event or reason may be it is eventually to help steer us towards our greater good!

Whether this may be a new career, friendship or life choice it has been done to show us what else is out there.

I believe that within our current society to many aspects of our lives are led by our heads and not our hearts. We've become a dreamless civilisation of approval and we spend too much time looking down at our phones and hoping that we will be gratified with a like, which is only liked mainly due to aimless appreciation. Not the thing itself and this has inevitably led to the socialised acceptance of not pursuing what we truly want, but accepting the easy way out due to comfort and public acceptance. 

So think outside the box, create a new life try something new because there's a reason why the opportunity has came along! 

As a society we should choose to be true to at least ourselves and not aim for a target of which we do not want.

In the terms of careers expand yourself. Learn to love what you do and excel at it. Be the best you, you could possibly be..

In regards to lifestyle choices live in accordance to your own beliefs and desires within reason. 

In friendships explore and learn to understand new people, even step outbid your comfort zone and discover a persons true personality not just their charisma.

Try new things and be true to yourself. Never let the idea of hurt stop you because either way you will fall and what do we do when we fall? Stand straight back up.

So people leap towards new opportunities discover new things and don't be scared! Change is inevitable..

We waste so much time by worrying about others that we forget our moral duty towards ourselves, what will benefit us greatly and what makes you happy. 

Remember that you deserve everything which you work hard for even if you don't believe it and that pain is inevitable in life. It's how we handle the pain which defines our character. 

Tea and Toast

Sometimes all you need is some tea and toast. It's a comfort food which forever holds a place in my heart.

It's what I've always used to cure anything from a cold to a broken heart and it is the essential comfort food. 

Its what I've been brought up with and what I'm sure many others have too. 

Being a British citizen I presume it's not even just a culture preference but genuinely a code within my DNA and with that I think quite a comforting thing.

I remember waking up before secondary school and having tea and toast either drowning in butter and jam, or swimming in Nutella and then as I grew older it being the go to food for if I was running late, or had a shit day.. How do you resolve it? By eating tea and toast. It's a personal favourite for me which has so many memories encompassing it. 

So many memories? From tea and toast? You may be thinking I'm a complete fool but it truly does. It reminds me of so many mornings sitting with my family watching the tv, my first and probably last sleepover at friends house and countless of other so simple times which I cherish so fondly, but most of all it reminds me of university. 

In first year during my term times we had meals provided but I always woke too late or too early to be able to eat at the canteen, so I had tea and toast. 

When I worked at Marks and Spencer's it was provided as an obligatory free gesture to the staff. (Well of course it was, tea and toast is a part of British culture and if any store embodies our proud nation it's them!) 

So many countless mornings where Id start at six and had to be there for half five and I'd sleepily awake stumbling to the kitchen just to have the feeling of warmth trickle through my body and enter the cockles of my heart!

And also the hungover mornings with the girls in halls where we would all communally gather have a cuppa and toast and talk about who shagged who or what happened.. Usually who cahoori pulled and what numbers she was on..

But yes that was definitely my mind wandering.. 

What I am trying to say (but seem to be failing to articulate) is that it truly is a creature comfort because it brings people together. Such a simple act unifies a nation and by offering tea and toast ,such a small thing, can create so many memories and emotions! 

So keep being kind people, keep sharing and please keep drinking tea! 

Money

To earn a living is deemed as loyal, respectful and completely normal

I, as I am sat on this train have become befuddled by the aspect of money and how much it truly overwhelms our lives. In front of me there is a tall male with a slim figure dressed in a tailored suit with elbow patches, brown shoes. Quite quirky really, but he is completely surrounded by top of the range electronics. A smart book with an excel page open, his mobile attached to his hand like it has been magnetically drawn to it replying to emails and a distant look which causally gazes from one screen to another..

Yet behind him is a young male presumably in his teens quietly dozing away. With no technology around him, nor labelled clothes. Just a cream knitted jumper, blue tatty jeans and he looked lovely! 

Innocence embodied but with an army backpack.. 

But imagine if there was no currency which dictated our society... 

Imagine if everyone could live equally and gain the items that they wanted? 

I'm not talking about communism, etc and nor am I encouraging that people should gain the same rewards as someone who works twice as hard as another it's just food for thought really!

Capitalism completely overthrows our lives and we are surrounded by commercialism... Branded clothing, makeup etc. We post pictures on social media of our favourite new objects and brag to others about them...

Money is literally surrounding us and we somehow can not escape it. Bizzarre really. We all crave more and more money. But when we finally have it we waste it on stupid items and get bored of the purchases..

It is true the saying that ... We're just hungry or bored!

 

You're Area 😉

Currently I am living in a completely organised space with designated sections for certain types of objects... Or what I like to call my fluffy hole. 

Haha laugh all you may but my room is a spectacle of all things pink and girly. Sugar spice and everything nice, all the ingredients to make a perfect girl (insert 90s childhood reference) and I truly believe it is the only feminine thing about me.

I love the typical girl things, yet I am quite a tom-boy who loves sports, drinking, wearing black and flirting so maybe my room is the only slight bit of release that wets my inner girls taste. 

They say that our habitats are a reflection of our minds, so our homes or bedrooms (in my case) are a projection of what we are thinking and doing within that period of time. So our personal cleanliness, tidiness, choices of colour, posters, objects and organisation can all be reflected within our living space. So if this is the truth a lot can be said about our personalities through their choices.

Let that just sink in for a second!  

Content with being content

Well everyone it's a new year and definitely it seems like a new me as cliche as it sounds. It's a bizarre statement but it truly is..

I seem to have turned myself around, completely turned over a new leaf and I'm happy that I have! 

Life is not dramatic, it's not like a scene from a movie and that's ok isn't it?

I wake up every morning surrounded by my family who love me, friends just a click away and excitement for the possible future! 

To be content and excited by different things, that's how life's supposed be! 

it's just slowly passing by like watching a leaf fall from a tree in Autumn. Passive and beautifully calming. 

Since 2015 ended I wanted to be a better version of myself and although I do slip off the bandwagon (as most girls do) I truly believe that I'm a better me. 

I exercise a little bit, could do abit more but it happens, I eat healthily when it's available to me provided by carte de fam a lam and I've found a beautiful love with Nietzsche and his work, not so much the content but his presentation of arguments and Ahhhh I'll get into this another time! But it's amazing! And I'm happy! Also I really enjoy reading in general. There seems to never be a cuppa or a book long enough to warm the cockle of my heart, but that's life! Nothing lasts forever, but it can make life seem so much fuller! 

But towards the regards of love, there's no one who seems to give me a special sparkle or my heart skip a beat better than my family friends and my little pup! It's all I need! 

So there you go future me! I hope you look back and realise that this boring period, was one of the best! Because, well it just was! 

2015: The Main Emotion

2015 was a big year. A terrifying one full of heartbreak, failures and a loss of direction for me personally. It was a year where I truly lost, learned and loved in many different ways. And honestly I look at the year and regret many decisions I made...

It has truly been a journey which I have had to deal with. I've been through in all honesty a complete battle with myself, my purpose and what truly matters and I'm not entirely sure what the resolution is. I understand that I as a person have something in my life and have to do something but I'm not quite sure what that is.. Or what I truly do want.

I've battled with myself a long time and it is tiring.

But it has also a turning point. I grew a backbone, started to understand that to be me, I have to be true to myself not be a push over, because to be truly honest, I started to look in the mirror and not recognize myself. I saw fear, anger, gluttony and ugliness.

I do have that gnawing feeling of darkness which creeps up, but I generally reverse it and look for the alternative. So during the end of the year I started to understand pain and use it to inspire hope, use it to push myself that slight bit further and it helped.

Loneliness however is a constant feeling which I have accrued since returning home. People are not always there like they promise and although its lovely to be surrounded by family, its quite clear to see that you have very few people in life who bother once you're not within a 3 mile radius.

"But baby thats life" and maybe that is a lesson which I have learned. That people who truly care will bother.

So here's my confessions:
1. Social media gives a false impression of people who love and support you. Although you have many people as contacts, most of them just want to see what you are up to but not be involved.
2. So be true to who you are. Find happiness within the things which move you and educate you, despite of what ridicule you may recieve
3. Love the ones who persist with you even through your dark periods. As they are the ones who will still love you despite the possible pain you are feeling or have caused. 
4. Forgiveness takes time and space. Once people have understood both sides of a story they will come forward and be there. 

Confessions of Happiness.

What is happiness? 

Does it occur through emotions, or is it innate? 

Is it something which can be attained by all or do we have to earn it? 

All of these questions are completely valid and it is something which has truly  put my life into perspective. Because currently as an optimistic person I'm struggling to find the positives, therefore I'm attempting to do some basic research to decipher, what it truly is. 

So What is Happiness? 

Happiness is an individualistic and intrinsic feeling to possess which can be acquired to all through different mediums, but it is our own personal experiences which make us feel the raw energy of the emotion.

The definition of Happiness is  "An emotional state of overall well being"... But I believe there's so much more to it than that. I believe that happiness has so many different layers which we simply cannot obtain through one form or realm.

Is it Innate?

Everything has an initial starting point, a spark which then has a catalyst of experiences which occur from that moment. A runner stands at the starting line, but they need the power and urge to continue the race and finish it. Just like happiness. We need to want to be happy to be able to achieve happiness.

Does this insinuate that it is innate. Absolutely fucking not. But we need to be able to picture and imagine happiness, and personally the idea of achieving it (to me) is innate.

I believe that they're are many layers of happiness.. There's emotional, physical, spiritual and educational sections within human nature and it is these which all have a need for happiness. We as human beings are creatures of desires and within these desires we feel a necessity to achieve an overall state of euphoria, the opitomy of happiness and if we eclectically combine all of these individual sections and attain happiness within them all, it is then when we can achieve this. 

-But we need to be willing to the commitment of exercising them properly, rather than having excessive amounts of happiness in one category in comparison to another.

But is it truly achievable? Can humans truly attain this perfect happy state?

Utilitarianism always springs to mind when I think about happiness as peoples morality seems to conflict with it depending on whether it is under the act or rule category.

Act utilitarianism is a theory hypothesized by Jeremy Bentham which takes on the aspect of hedonism and our abilities to understand pleasure and categorise them into an order which would appease the individual most; whilst Rule utilitarianism is a progressed version which looks at achieving happiness to the masses and to be honest...I do not believe we can truly make everyone happy in order to achieve our own personal state of euphoria. 

I look at utilitarianism and see the guidelines of the "Rule" and believe that these are the most appealing. They acquire positives for the masses and on paper it seems the most attractive but in regards to reality, this is impossible. 

As humans we are slaves to our instincts, we love gluttonous behaviour to feed our basic needs, wants and desires and have a natural urges to do so. I mean look at our current subculture of technology, we feel the urge to express our emotions, share pictures of our new possessions over social media and change our appearance to conform to public approval and we are all guilty of this.. It for some reason makes us feel fulfilled. But not all of us conform to this, which to many seems strange but take us back 3-4 decades we never had the ability to do so,

But after ranting I will ever so rapidly return to my idea of Utilitarianism and how it effects our happiness.

We are selfish creatures of indulgence, who aspire to having more than we possibly need. Therefore we sometimes do not see that what we have in front of us and how it is perfectly ample for fulfilling our happiness and sometimes people get hurt, but is this the way to live? I believe that it isn't and we should not hurt others to attain what we truly want.

We are, as far as we have discovered, the most intellectual creatures on this earth and have developed moral codes, rules and laws which we abide by and I truly believe that when we aim to achieve happiness we should not damage or hurt another human just to attain our end goal. So respectively decline the basic ideas of act utilitarianism.

Can we all Achieve Happiness?

If we want to be truly happy yes appease your basic needs but do not use hate filled methods in doing so. Be true to yourself and honest to find what you truly want.

Aristotle once said that "it is not one swallow or fine day that makes a spring, so it is not a day or a short time that makes a man blessed and happy.." And I truly agree with this.

Yes happiness can be felt throughout life at different periods through different mediums such as emotions, items, etc. But we truly need to be positive in order to attain it, and through this positivity we should reflect it onto the world and others.

Do not project hatred and anger as it never does anyone any good. Especially yourself. Set yourself goals which you can achieve and work hard in order to be able to do what yo want to do, and remember that if you're having a bad day, you get a brand new chance to start again with tomorrow.